Transitioning into Poetry

I’m still lost. I, for once, wish I can figure out where I am and what am I doing. So I try to do something about it. Try to find myself and figure out what do I do and where do I go next. So I light up the a scented candle, turn off the light, dim the screen and gently type whatever flows from my brain, the voice within in the back of my head, through my body, to my finger tips pressing different keys forming what you, and I are reading right now to this point. All of this, and more, is happening at I look away, trying to keep my eyes with something else; the candle. So I look at it, watch it melt the coloured wax that evaporates leaving a nice scent. Scented candles are like some people. People who leave us and leave something behind for us to remember them.

It is oftentimes that I have been told, continuously, that I need to go out more and meet people. But it’s usually that I’m not very satisfied at the end. I’m not sure what it is the problem exactly but I know for sure that it is not my fault.

“Why?” you’d ask.

I’m glad you asked, honestly. Though this might go out of context and control, but it is clear that people meet, especially those who are “looking” to meet a potential “partner” (of any sort, that is) and ideally, if you are a student, you have automatically been eliminated – and this includes all activities. This seemed to have crossed not just the border or the red line, but all lines created by man including yours.

I don’t normally take things personally, but how rude is it to stop talking to someone from the same gender as yours because somebody from the other gender has passed by and is then asked (by that person) to sit down and you end up being automatically eliminated and another conversation starts between these two people? What kind of jungle is this? Or rather, what kind of an animal you are? I’m not sorry to say this but, you’re an absolute piece of shit, always have, and always will be.

This is one example that happens very occasionally to the point it occurs every time I go out with a group of people to socialise. Thinking about it again, it is entirely my fault not just for agreeing on meeting up with people – Arabs in particular – who want to meet up because, well, we are Arabs from colonised countries and we live in the colonisers land and meet up would be a good thing to do, to meet people who come probably not only from the same homeland you come from, but also share the same language and history of yours, to name a couple. But this is only my own assumption, which could be wrong, entirely or partially.

It makes me want to be with you.

It took me 499 words to figure out where I want to be. With you.

I love how
You occupy my mind
And I, yours

I love how
You occupy part of my time
Thinking about you
And another part
Thinking if you do too

I love how
I smile when I think of you
And when I do things
That remind me of you

I love how
You inspire me
To read, to write, to laugh, to eat
How everything I do
Has to do with you

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About Nader Elkhuzundar

Nader Elkhuzundar is a commentator on Palestinian affairs and Co-founder of Beyond Compromise (www.beyondcompromise.com). Elkhuzundar occasionally freelances for The Guardian, International Business Times, and others. He's a social media enthusiast and tech savvy with particular interest in new technologies and analytics, and enjoys reading over Arabic coffee and dark chocolate.
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