Trust with a Sprinkle of Love

Losing someone’s trust is painful. Losing someone’s trust hurts. Losing your parents trust is the most painful, the most hurtful.

Technology develops so rapidly that one could barely understand how a new thing works to find that a newer model has been released or announced, for which, the generation gap becomes wider and wider every day. Comparing our lives at the age we are at right now to our parents’ lives when they were at our age, we’re very spoiled and life has never been easier. Compared to their lives, we have everything at the tips of our fingers.

Obeying one’s family’s regulations and traditions as life around us develops so rapidly could look and/or feel very odd, developing these regulations to be able to cope with the ever-developing world around is, is necessary yet difficult.

“We don’t trust you enough to let you travel to the UK. You are too liberal compared to your siblings, you talk to and have a lot of female friends, and you smoke shisha. All of this you do, and you live here in Gaza. I wonder what would you do when you go to the UK or anywhere else.”

Trying to explain, I told my mother that my siblings use the Internet to talk to their real-life friends and classmates and discuss/collaborate in class-related issue/homework. They are too busy to find time for networking. Unlike me, graduated and unemployed. If I don’t network and talk to people when I am awake, I would find nothing to do, besides, they all are helping me with all kinds of info I need about London, to say the least.

“Nader, you are way too open and we can’t let this happen. You have to stop doing that.” Mom said. But all I have to do is look at here, smile and turn my face distracting my mind to not think of what she said. I can’t deny it was hard to believe that she actually said that to me; dad has always been treating me like a little kid being very protective but this did nothing but make me an easy prey to life. It has been like that for years but nothing seemed to work with him to change the way he talks and acts with me. Finally, I have come to realize that no matter how old I grow, my father would still treat me the same because, to him, I am still young and lack experience in life and it is his duty as a father to support, help and guide me throughout my life.

What made it even worse was what my mother told me that night. For a long time I felt so left out in a world so crazy so cruel so selfish all alone knowing that the two people I love, respect, and appreciate the most of all I have ever know and will ever know in my entire life, my parents.

I can’t deny how bad it made me feel, and how badly broken my heart was, the thing that left me no choice but to tweet it out expressing how bad it feels but my twitter family stood by me, listened to me, and made me feel better and for that, I wholeheartedly thank each and every one of them.
Winning someone’s trust back is definitely difficult by all means, even maintaining it could be difficult, but never as much difficult as winning it back could be. I can’t say I have won their trust, but I am definitely on the way. I am doing my best to win it back and I know I will.

You try and fail, but every time you fail, you learn something new that you should wisely use when you try again. You will succeed in the end, I promise. And you will love the taste of success.

Thanks Yasmine for the post title. I was stuck at choosing one, the usual.

Nader K.

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About Nader Elkhuzundar

Nader Elkhuzundar is a commentator on Palestinian affairs and Co-founder of Beyond Compromise (www.beyondcompromise.com). Elkhuzundar occasionally freelances for The Guardian, International Business Times, and others. He's a social media enthusiast and tech savvy with particular interest in new technologies and analytics, and enjoys reading over Arabic coffee and dark chocolate.
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13 Responses to Trust with a Sprinkle of Love

  1. Dr_Sarsora says:

    WOW WOW
    i believe that parents will never confess to themselves that their children are no longer babies even after they get married and maybe till they die cuz simply they are PARENT ,,, someday we would understand this ..hope so…

    I’m sure you are grown enough to guide your life correctly and i can see this from your wise word written here..
    i think that having the courage to express your feelings in this way could help a lot, not like me… cuz I’ve been through something similar 3 years ago ..
    anyway…liiiiiiiike it very very much …
    always will pray for u and wish u the best my friend..^_^

  2. Reham says:

    It’s like caring about you more than they don’t turst u parants are always like that especially when it come to open mind son and in a free country they don’t wanna feel bad after anythings happend u’ll understand them when u becom a afather inshallah be thankfull at lest u have someone to care of you 🙂 & i like the last part of the post go for it good luck wish u the best !!

  3. Somaya K says:

    I love it Nader. This is my first blog that I read of yours and I absolutely love it, maybe because I can relate to it (and I’m more than positive that many others can relate to it as well). I’m eager to reading you’re other posts! Keep it up!

    Best of Luck,
    Somaya:)

  4. Palinoia says:

    If you were a girl, this wouldn’t have probably happened. I think.

    Chin up, and am sure things will eventually get better, buddy. Just like you said, the important thing is to keep trying.

    Best of luck!

  5. Touma says:

    Great blog.. I rekon so many have this problem. I mean look at me, im married my husband lets me do certain things that my parents dont. But its my life in the end. And as parents theyr gna be in YOUR life FOR life, married or not. You just gotta accept it.
    InshAllah all will work out eventually. Dont stress to much. Let each day pass at it is. And might i say theyr the luckiest parents to be blessed with a son like you.
    Good Luck:)

  6. Stacy says:

    Living in the United States I’m not sure I’m in a position to give advice but I do know that parents are sometimes fearful of things they don’t understand. My father doesn’t understand why I blog and he’s suspicious of it. He doesn’t understand Twitter either. The idea of talking to complete strangers is completely lost on him.

    Is your mother aware that the social networking you do can actually help you with things like job prospects and things like that? You are a great writer with a unique perspective- you can make contacts with people on twitter, through blogs that you’d never be able to make otherwise.

    Also, on a more political note, to us in the United States Gaza is a place we never see or hear much about (except through the biased American and Israeli media) so your willingness to reach out to different people can actually help us better understand- in other words, you’re making the world a better place 😉

    • Nader K. says:

      Glad to have you here, Stacy!
      Well, both my mother and my father are completely aware of what I am doing thus, the consequences (cons and pros) but I think they are being more protective especially that I am the oldest son which, makes it very difficult to them to let me travel thousands of miles away from them for an unknown period of months.

      On another note, I am very glad that I am doing something unique and new-in a way or another-for whatever the reason is. Raising awareness, enlightening people, make them laugh and/or cry. Furthermore, it is indeed a great honor making the world a better place, at least for a few minutes.

  7. Nader, I managed to read this latest blog posting of yours and the previous others and glad I have finally done so. Myself being here in the UK, can perhaps never understand the difficulties but the fact that you speak about everything (because I read it all on twitter) has definitely opened my eyes as to the issues you face as an eldest son, in Gaza. I think many would agree with me in saying we are thankful to you for writing.
    I can’t say much about parents as perhaps there are certain expectations one is expected to live upto, but at the end of the day no matter what the situation may be they will always love, care and be proud of you. One can argue it’s a funny way of showing love but I guess it’s the only way they know how.
    I hope one day soon you can come to the UK and flfill your goals in life inshallah.

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